Another Satellite

kithfans:

Never skit. Never, ever skit.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

If I had an office job I’d have a bucket of green soldiers and a barrel’o’monkeys. Then I’d stage a post apocalyptic war with battles spanning days or weeks at a time. The monkeys being the new dominant life form and the soldiers being the remains of their species on planet Desk. Their only resources would be from the office supply closet, at the other side of the office. I’d work out strategies and play them out like chess. Eventually the monkeys would take control of the supply closet and I would leave them posted there. The final battle would come as the soldiers try to thwart the monkeys plan to bomb the supply closet but fail. On that day, after months, I would bring in as many monkeys as I can find, maybe hire a real chimp. Stuffed monkeys, posters of monkeys, dress up in a gorilla costume but otherwise work as normal, etc. I’ll replace everything in the closet with these things and leave them around the office. Maybe going as far as replacing personal things in other cubicles with personal things a monkey may have.

I will tell no one what is going on. I will work as normal while making the subtle changes progressively around the whole office. Except on the final day, when monkey hell breaks loose. That is how I will quit.